I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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