Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
