Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
