Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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