You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
