ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
