first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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