Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
