yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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