Christians are straight up FREAKS
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
