On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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