i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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