Got a toothbrush?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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