i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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