we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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