just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
