i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
