hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize