so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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