So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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