I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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