It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
