AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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