i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
