Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
