Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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