if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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