Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
