Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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