I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
