Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
