she looked like the before picture.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
