Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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