bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
