My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
love makes seman taste better
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
