drinking out of a sandbucket again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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