Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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