So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
