The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
