so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
