so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
