This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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