Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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