Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
