Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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