Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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