Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
