I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
