party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
