If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
