3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
