Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
