this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
