Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
