Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
