Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
