Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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