I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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