my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
