Dual....:-)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
