i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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