even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
